Djinn and Zero
by Dragonkingofthestars
Summary: Great, one momment I'm in the other plane, the next i'm in some odd place that's never even heard of Uruk,Alexandria or Algonquin(1) and now I'm suppose to be the servent of some pink haired Tsundere. Why did I think this would end well. 1: some of my many acomplishments
1. Bart: summoning 1

_**right then, here it is. the new chapter short, and i would post again but i don't have much of a back log set up as I would like so i'm sorry, all you get is one chapter.**_

_**DON'T HURT ME!**_

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A common misconception among humans is what spirits do in the other plan.

Which is, nothing.

One does not do, one Exists until one is rudely intrupted by humans.

Once again the tug of a summoning started to caresed my essence like fish hooks just before they latch into place and start to pull, but, it was off. (1)

It was less an order and more,, A request? This was diffrent. What ever circle that wizard was useing, it was diffrent from any thing from the last ten thousand years.

Once more,, the words seemed off as well. (2), like the summoner was requesting me not demanding.

Well, it seems at that moment I had what every spirit dreamed of, a choice. Go to the human world. Or not.

On the one hand, I HATE being summoned, all the pain, orders and demands,(3) ugh. on the other,,,

well, the other hand has me highly curious about this, summonings. It, rings some chimes and stirs up, ideas that my cynical side had long since had burryed and floated down a river a long, long, long, (4) time ago.

So what was I to do?

Ohh, I am just know I'm going to regret this.

I went for it.

Sudden the magic 'back rubs' turned into tourment.

It was like being pulled though a screen, or a sieve, summoning was never pleasant don't get me wrong but it was like I was being ripped in half, like the Other Plane did not want to let me go.

For seconds or years my essence was torn between answering the summoning and the pull of the Other Plane till, like a rubber band I shot toward the summing.

There are four elemental walls that exist between the Other Plane your world. In no order, (5) they are.

Fire: solid sheet of the very IDEA of fire, of heat of the opposite of entropy. Enough heat to roast a turkey in 0.000124 seconds. (6)

Water: a wall of water, of the depth of the sea, enough water to drown the world eight times over and still have enough left over for a few thousand moons.

Air: a storm that makes any mortal concept of bad worth look down right tepid. Of winds a thousand miles strong and a blazeing storm of lighting and thunder.

Earth: a solid wall of crushing stone like a mountain, only MORE then any mountain (7) range in the world put together.

Each time a spirit is summoned we have to break though those gates. But this time, there was a fifth.

The magic that was unwillingly (8) draging me was now pulling me to a fifth wall.

Unlike the others which were all 'something' this one was notable because it was 'nothing'.

Literately. Take the most absent vacume, the darkest pit, deepest cave, the stuff holes are made of and you would not get close to what this was, or was not.

It was _**nothing**_ the darkest pit of oblvion at least was a pit, this was true, compleat, nothingness.

And I was going right toward it.

Had I a mouth, I would have screemed as I entered the boundery.

* * *

1 had I a face I would have qunched my eye brows.

2 if my,, non ears were right it it was somthing along the lines of "I beg of servant who lives somewhere in the universe!", odd right?

3 go over here! Go over there! Lift that bail, sort my mail! I've done it all.

4 with a few more longs on top of that.

5 literly. The other plane is the anthisis of order.

6 and turn it to plasma in 0.000125 seconds

7 including the underwater ones

8 even more then I was normaly was.


	2. Louise: summoning 2

**_two things_**

**_One: I'm sorry mist anmoy reviwer that I did not impliment you changes earlyer, I was busy this week._**

**_second: third chapter will be up soon. less then 24 hours soon._**

* * *

Explosions were common enough around Louise, not like one more ON THE MOST IMPORTANT DAY OF HER LIFE should overly disapoint her.

Not like, you know her whole future depended on this ONE MOMENT.

"Geeze Louise, You may as well rent your self out as a fog machine at this rate." Kirche said as she waved smoke past her noise.

Louise turned on her foot, a stinging retort on her lips, a sentence that would peel the skin from her overly fat carcus, when some one spoke from within the blast zone.

"Bloody hell! That hurt! Bloody hell? Silver, I spent way to much time in England." Louise spun back around eyes like dinner plates, her words dieing on her lips.

As the smoke cleared it reveled a black cat with silky smooth fur and vibrent, hellish eyes. It looked around and spoke again.

"And without a circle? Wow, that is new, stupid but new." It scanned around with an almost bored look on it's face for a few seconds before its eyes went wide as dinner plates and somehow, gave a long low whistle. "Wooo, something is up." It muttered.

A smile slowly cracked across Louise's face like the dawn after a storm over an asylum.

The cat seemed to pick up on her boarder line insane smile. "I don't like that look." It said hunching down, ears flatening against it's skull. "Last time I saw that smile on someone the guy striped to his underwear, ran down the street and then ranted about how rats were behind the government." It's words bounced off Louise like water off a duck's back.

Like a child running toward it's father she seemed to span the short gap between the two of them in seconds, reached down and grabbed the cat in both arms and hugged it close to her chest. "I DID IT! I FINALY DID IT! EAT IT KIRCHE! I SUMMONED A FAMILAR!"

Kirche sook her head. "She summons an, admitly, magical, alley cat and suddenly she's a square class." A hiss drew her attention. Her eyes dropped to her yet to be named salamander familar, which was hissing like he had a boiler on his back.

She looked around

Every other familar there, from the snakes to the dragon, was glareing at Louises familar, and were hissing or growling.

The cat though was haveing enough of Louise's excitement. Louise had been spining round like a child in a flower patch eyes closed in joy when suddenly the cat in her hands changed and grew much, much heavier.

She opened her eyes, still spining and met the glare of the brown skined boy she was currently hugging. "Care to put me down?" Giving an 'eak' of surpise, she let go and jumped back half a step. Her 'cat' had become a man. He was dressed in an odd shirt and pants and was grumbleing as he dusted him self off.

He scanned around at the growling familars (a fact not yet noticed by Louise). He cocked his head sideways and suddenly the familars stop hissing but they still glared raw hate at him.

"What... are you?" Louise asked confused as she examined her familar more closely. Behind her Colbert was scanning though a book on magical animals as he tryed to figure out what he was looking at.

"Don't play that game wi... wait." he said before he cocked his head to the other side in suprise as he examined her face. "You don't know do you? How is that possible?"

"Know what?" Asked Colbert a worried look starting to grow on his face as he could find no animal that could do what he just saw. He seemed to think about it before shrugging it off. "No water off my back." he looked around. "So... what the heck now?" he was truly confused.

That shocked Louise out of her confusion as she figured out the next step. "You can't expect me to, to,"

"To, what?" he said nervously. "Cause if this is one of those shomanic ritual copulation things, I'm out of here." He threw his thumb over his shoulder as he took a half step back. That turned Louise the brightest shade of scarlet as the whole class broke into a good solid half hour of laughter.

Growling Louise walked forward getting right in her servent's face.

"Now look here! You are my familiar that means you are my servent! And," before Louise could keep talking about the familiar, his face changed.

He blinked.

His iris's turned into a vibrant red cat eye's.

Before he had been flipant, sarcastic, now, somthing had changed. He was mad, hateful, and maybe, a touch disapointment if you squinted.

He blinked again and they turned back to normal.

"So, you're just as bad as everyone else."He scanned around in thought. He seemed to be contemplating his options.

"Louise, it is hardly a good idea to insult magical sentent beings that have the power of shape shifting." Colbert said as he licked his finger before turning another page.

"I like him," He said gestureing "Shows the proper respect." He then turned back to Louise."So, you're just a stuck up little brat rather then being a repersentive of your entire group?" Silence met that comment.

"And on your part, it is best not to insult the mage that summoned you." Colbert said pinching his nose a little.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME!" Louise shouted.

"A brat," he said again crossing his arms, "hard of hearing?"

Louise pulled her wand out pointing it at his head. "Take. That Back."

He seemed to look at his nails. "I call em as I see em. If it looks like a brat, sounds like a brat, and acts like a brat, then it is a brat." The explosion Louise made shook the windows in the next building over.

Louise worked her self to a siting position after the blast. She rubbed her ears as she tryed to to stop the slight ringing. Even for her, that had been a good one.

"Great Louise, you summon a familar and the first thing you do is kill it." Kirche's voice said though the smoke between her coughs.

"I-I-I," Louise studdered only for the grinding of stone on stone behind her to cut her off. Every one not still blinking in the after math was wide eyed, slacked jawed stareing at something behind her.

Nervously she turned around.

Literaly one inch form her nose, was the visage of a gargoyle made out of living stone. It stood behind her, hunched on two legs and two arms. While a second pair of arms were crossed over it chest, tail lashed at the air, wings folded up tight to its spiny back.

It opened it's mouth, a wave of hot air washed over her. "Brat." It said.


	3. Bart Summoning

Ok, before I begin, some ground rules. (1) you read all that? Good. (5)

When that brat. Louise I think, pointed that wand at me I had already moved out of the way and cast a illusion where my first plane form was so all she hit was the illusion. I then snuck behind her as a humming bird.

I then turned into a gargoyal and waited for her to notice.

It did not take long.

She dropped in shock as her legs just refused to work, body trembling in fear. "O come off it." I said crossing my second pair of arms as I pulled back. "If I had wanted to kill you I would have done so by now."

a red glow out the corner of my eye was all the warning I got, even so I manged to get a sheild up seconds before bolts of fire impacted me (6) staggering me back.

"If you want to harm my students Deamon your have to go though me!" the Teacher had interposed himself between me and the brat.

"Deamon? Now thats just rude." I commented wipeing ash off my side and shoulders. "You don't see me call humans apes. Besides, what exactly did I do to threaten her?" I squated back down crossing all of my arms as I traded glares with Teacher. I shot one of the students, a red head, a look.

"Boo." she flinched, I laughed a gravely grateing noise like rock upon rock. it matched my current form well. "I think I could get to like this."

The Teacher seemed to finaly get some common sense and relize that a highly powerful Djinn was loose in a group of seemingly young students.

They seemed to figure it out too and were slowly backing away. I snickered internally while on the out side I kept a calm facade.

"Every one." he called over his shoulder "Leave, I don't care where, but get out of here."

"but, profe..." before the red headed girl could say anything else he turned his head and shouted at the top of his lungs.

"LEAVE NOW!" I took the breather of him not being ready to charboil me to look around and good. Not at the people and critters, but at the place I was.

Well, what struck me first was that we were in a grassy feild inside a large castle. Not to dissmilar from english castles of the third century. (7) the language as well was unfamilar. Normaly after a summoning I can pick my location with a fair degree of accuracy after only a little bit of time, but I was lost here.

Colbert turned back to me, staff lowered, back like a ram road, his face glareing at me and face set in determination that I would not harm a single hair on his charges heads.

I made a big show of examining my nails.

"OK, I'll bite where am I?" as the student rappidly left the area leaveing me, the brat and Teacher.

I looked around "I want to say France."

"Where?" the pink haired one asked

"France you know, gay pairy?" I shifted a french flag into my claw and waved it back and forth, I then shifted it to a English then German, "England? Germany? Come on give me a hint."

"Never heard of those places." the bald man said.

"Come on! Never heard of England? Who has not heard of England? Lead a army though the walls Prague? Conquered most of the planet?"

"No." he said I rocked back on my talons and swished my tail back and forth in thought.

"My turn, who are you, why are you here, what are you and why do you want to kill Louise Françoise le Blanc de la Vallière?"

"before I answer that:" I gestured with one claw in the air before pointing with my second pair of arms. "Your name?"

"You expect me to tell a deamon my name?" he said.

"Going to play that game huhh?" I said tail swishing back and forth. "Well then Baldy, in order. My name incase you don't know is,," at this point I altered my voice into one of those voices that seemed to boom from every where and no where at once, "BARTIMAEUS! I BUILT THE WALLS OF PRAUGE, JERICHO (8) URUK AND KARNAK, I HAVE SPOKEN WITH SOLOMON, AND CRUSHED THE GREAT LONDON SPIRIT REBELLION!"

A wind kicked up around me ice frosted over the grass around. The Gargoyal form I had melted into a creeping piller of inky black smoke dotted with twin evil eyes that stared at everything, and nothing at once. Louise stumbled back ward a hand pressed tight to her skirt the other sheilding her face from the wind. Baldy did not move a inch.

"I've never heard of those places," He said. "Much less of a man named solomon, you are both a bragget, a lier and a show off." the windstorm stopped, the ice melted and the black smoke stopped billowing. "gezze liven up a bit dude." the smoke setteled down and I altered back to my Ptolemy form.

"Seriously, who jammed that thing up your ass, I mean look at you," Louise did look. "back straight, stick out, eye dead on." I mined a pair of goggles on my face. "I bet your where in the army. Discharged after one to many,"

"Enough deamon!" he snapped. I kept going. "Affairs with the daughters of generals, I mean, some one had to put that rod up your ass am I right?"

"Wh, what do I do now Mr Colbert?" Louise pleaded at the now named teacher.

"be,," before Colbert could growl to her to be silent I slammed one palm in to the other. "Colbert! Nice name! Have to say much better then baldy."

"You still have yet to answer my other questions deamon." he snapped.

"About the why? What and pinky here?" I said gestureing. "In reverse order, I don't want to kill miss Louise francoie la, blah, blah, blah," I mined my hand opening and closeing to accent my boardom with her name. "I said 'if I wanted to kill you... which oddly I don't." (9) I shrugged "What I am is a djinni, not a deamon, and in fact I take offense to that term."

"And the why?" Colbert asked.

"ahh,, the why," I rubbed the back of my head. "well, umm, she asked." I finaly said. "Nothing more or less really."

"So you come when ever some one askes?" Colbert said staff not moveing a micron.

"...Apprently." I said shrugging again. "I mean, I've been forceable called upon so many times that a simple, hay can you come over? It's not unwelcome, sides, your world's not all that bad." I spread my arms casting a pale mimic of the aurora borealis over my head, danceing greens, reds, and ocean blues danceing in a storm of cosmic fire that was cold as a ice.

"Were it not for you damn magicians calling on me every thousand years or so to be your slave it's not that bad. Heck I'd vist every now and then if I could with out being forced to stay till I was a little wisp of essence floating on the breeze." my eyes went wide, the image forzen in place over head, and my out line went fuzzy as I lost focus.

My essence was not hurting. (10) I had to take stock of that. What was clear was that something was different, fundamentally and completely. Wait, was I still thinking in foot notes? (11)

I shock my head refocusing. "Well that is new." I cast a look at Louise. "Well, I'm here cus you asked. Why the heck did you ask."

"I...I needed a familar, But I did not expect to get you!" she said timidly before shouting that last bit louder.

"But here I be." I spread my arms, not hurting and not enslaved. Two very good things. Not to mention I had to get my bearings before I could make any long term choices. Would killing her even take me back to the other plane? As it stood I really did not have any better options then, follow this pink haired girl around. "What does being a Familiar entail?"

"You were trying to kill me!" she screeched. "and you expect me to make you my familiar!"

"I was not pinky." I said frowning "Just scare you and threaten you." To be honestly I was still trying to figure out what I was going to do to her. I still did not know.

"How do we know you won't actually try then?" The bald man said.

"Aside from the fact that if I did you likley properly summon me and then turn me into a crispy fritter?" I made my skin a bright red and gave it the texture of something boiling. Louise gagged. I turned it back to normal after a half second.

Colbert man rubbed his forehead in thought. "I hate Mondays." he muttered then sighed. At the end of the day this ritual thing they did to bring me was pretty important.

"Alright. I will allow it, but know this you, thing! That if you so much as scratch her I will immerse you in a sphere of magma, am I clear?"

"yes sir." (12) then to Louise "three things though before I agree to this. First: no orders, had enough of those things you ask or you don't get anything." She was about to say something when I smiled, with my teeth a bunch of fangs again shutting her up good.

"Two: no punishments: had enough of those as well. You cause pain I'm gone." That said was likely not going to hold to that too tightly. Admittedly I could be quite a trouble maker and there was a diffrence between a punishment spell and chaseing me with a big stick.

"three: if I ever see you enslave or try to summon another sprite, in other words enslave that being, well it won't be good." I smiled impossibly big, still fanged toothed. "Your answer?"

Louise shivered, then looked at Colbert who shrugged. "Your choice, though technically if you don't we would have to expel you. Doubt we would with out serious thought but the rules are clear."

She sighed as defeated as a solider who's army had lost a war. "OK."

"Well good." I clapped my hands and my fangs disappeared. I walked over to her. "So what now?" bend over, please." she growled the last part out and I shrugged and did so. "This is that odd final part you complained about?" I asked. She tapped me with her wand and spoke "Pentagon of the five elemental powers grant your blessings upon this creature. And bind it as my familiar."

"Bind what now?" I said already prepping a denotation. Then she kissed me. I pulled back "was that it?" then my essence began to burn.

It was like a lesser version of the Red-hot Stipples and I gripped my hand tightly as I watched runes carve themselves onto the back of it. .

When the pain fade I waved my hand back and forth shifting it to a claw, then a tentacle, then a back to hand. It did not change, no matter what form my limb took it remained.

"See now I have to kill you." I said in thought.

"NO! That was part of it! I'm sorry it hurt!" she back up and Colbert lowered his staff again.

"well since you apologized, I won't." the three of us stared at each other. Till Colbert adjusted his glasses.

"May I see those." I shrugged and presented my hand he eyed it and thanked me. Thanked me,, humm, I really could get used to this.

* * *

1, my apprence in this world had some intresting consequences. First: all the humans were. glowing on the second plane up. (2) it was blinding in fact. Now, unless all the humans were Sprits that means one simple rule has been changed. (3) also for some reason the animals could see me so I had to ratchet up my form up a few planes.

2 there are many planes, but only seven worth bothering about any one else is showing off. Humans see only the first, cats dimly into the third. Sprites can see into all seven and the more powerful ones (cough) can alter there form freely on all seven.

3 humans can't do magic. They can command us to do magic, but they themselves have no powers. (4)

4 unless you count being cruel a power.

5 pfft I doubt it you being human and all,, wait you can read this,, damn.

6 cheater. He actualy made real fire, not a magical one, and threw it at me makeing my sheild almost worthless.I think it helped a little. Not even when humans do the actual magic do they play fair.

7 I should know I helped build enough of the bloody places. Give a guy a magic sword and he thinks he can order a spirit to build camlout over night.

8 not my proudest moment.

9: very odd indeed. But so far she had proven her self to be a brat not a enslaveing, heartless, controlling mage or what ever.

10 all sprites are made of Essence. Essences can be hurt by silver, iron, certain herbs, and by spending time in the human plane. Its starts as a dull ache you can ignore and grows to a over powering weakness if you don't recover in the other plane. Changing shape helps but does not get rid of it completely.

11 O ya, still got it.

12Note to self: if ever plan on kill girl kill him first.


End file.
